How does AI matchmaking work at MeAndWho Club?

A fifth use, a shadow check, is built for later and switched off today. Filters, scores and approvals are handled by fixed rules and people, and chat is only ever between the two of you.

The AI conversation and the ChatGPT import are optional. Agreeing to “AI help with your profile” is one of the consents needed for matchmaking, and the AI writes the reason on every introduction whether or not you talk to it. See how MeAndWho Club works, step by step.

Here is each limit and what in the app makes sure of it.

What stays private, and how reports are handled

No note the AI suggests is used until you confirm it. The screen says it plainly: “Only what you confirm is used for matching.”

The AI doesn’t calculate the score and doesn’t pick who you meet.

• Both ways. You must each be someone the other wants to meet, inside each other’s age range, and pass each other’s dealbreakers; fit is then scored in both directions and ranked by the weaker side.
• The mutual top five. A pair must reach a minimum score, and each of you must be among the other’s top 5 (currently). At most 3 new introductions a week, and no fixed schedule.
• A person checks. A person reviews every pair and its reason before anything reaches you. Why a person checks.

How matching works, step by step (scoring version score-v1)

That way a human, not only rules and an AI, judges each one. With the current setting, an introduction can only be created when a person approves it.

Any change would be only for well-understood cases, and only where real results hold up.

1. Now: a person checks every introduction

   This is our pilot. Nothing reaches you without a person’s approval.

2. Next: the AI checks alongside the person

   A person still approves every introduction. The AI also records whether it would have approved, which members never see, so we can measure how often the two agree.

3. Later, perhaps: some introductions without a person

   Only for well-understood cases. Pairs that meet set standards, including a minimum score and the AI’s own approval, could be sent without a person, while a random share is still checked by one. It can be switched on only for groups of members whose quality measures all hold with real results: how often the person and the AI agree, how often both people say yes, how rarely people block or report, how relevant people found their introductions and how often they went on to meet. A measure with no results counts as a fail. The measures are checked after every matching run, and if any of them slips, it switches back automatically to a person checking every introduction.

No stage can skip double opt-in. Whoever or whatever suggests an introduction, a chat opens only if you both say yes.

It’s optional, it adds to your answers rather than replacing them, and we don’t store what you paste.

I'm joining a matchmaking service and want to describe myself accurately. Based on what you know about me from our past conversations, write a short summary of what I'm like in relationships and what I'm looking for in a partner.

Cover only these topics, as plain bullet points:
- what I want from a relationship and how serious I am
- my priorities for the next few years
- how I like to communicate and spend time with someone
- how I handle disagreements
- my routine, interests and social life
- what draws me to someone, and differences I'm fine with

Rules:
- Only include things I've actually told you. If you don't know something, leave it out.
- Don't include anything about my health, religion, caste, sexuality, finances, politics or anyone else's private details.
- Don't include my name, where I live or work, or anyone's contact details.
- Keep it under 300 words.

ChatGPT is a product of OpenAI. MeAndWho Club isn’t affiliated with OpenAI: the import is a prompt you run in your own ChatGPT, and we never connect to your ChatGPT account.

Ours doesn’t decide who you meet or chat for you, and is never sent your name, phone number or photos. This is how we keep it honest.

What it can do is help us understand what matters to you, and explain each introduction plainly.

• It doesn’t know you better than you know yourself. It works only with what you tell us, and you can confirm, correct or delete every note it suggests about you.
• The score isn’t a prediction. It is a way to rank people for each other, not a chance of anything working out, and members never see it.
• It can’t tell you how someone will behave. Verification shows a real person with one account, nothing more, so meet in public and trust your instincts.
• It doesn’t change your profile behind your back. Feedback you give after an introduction is private and helps us check how introductions are going. It doesn’t rewrite your profile or your answers.
• It can’t make introductions arrive faster. We introduce people only when it looks like a good fit for both of you, so there is no fixed schedule, and while the club is new in Bengaluru your pool may take time to grow. Why we’re starting in Bengaluru.

Joining is free, and a paid membership is only offered once there are enough suitable people for you: see how membership works. Our terms of use say the same about promises: membership pays for the matchmaking service, not an outcome.

Our AI matchmaker listens and explains, fixed rules check fit from both sides, and a person checks each introduction before it reaches you.

AI matchmaker

An AI matchmaker is a matchmaking service that uses AI to understand what you’re looking for and explain each introduction, instead of giving you a feed to swipe. At MeAndWho Club the AI listens and explains, while fixed rules and a person decide who is introduced.

Introduction

An introduction is a private card MeAndWho Club sends to two members when the matching rules find they fit each other both ways and a person has checked the pair. It shows the other person’s first name or nickname, age, chosen photos, verification badges, the answers they chose to share and why we suggested them.

Double opt-in

Double opt-in means a chat opens only if both people say “Yes, introduce us”. Neither person learns the other’s answer unless both say yes, and nobody is told who said no.

Mutual top five

Mutual top five means two people are introduced only if each is among the other’s top five candidates, ranked by the matching rules on their own answers. Five is the current setting, and it can change.

Live selfie check

The live selfie check is a short video check, about 20 seconds, that everyone must pass before joining matchmaking. It shows you are a real person with only one account, and the video isn’t kept.

Said vs understood

Said vs understood is how a MeAndWho Club profile keeps what you told us (“You told us”) apart from what our AI took from your conversation or import (“We interpreted this as”, “From your import”). Only notes you confirm can be shown to the person who checks introductions, and notes never change your match score.

Pool

Your pool is the active, verified members who could be introduced to you: people who pass your firm filters and whose firm filters you pass. Sign-ups alone never count, and membership is offered only once your pool has enough suitable people (at present, at least 15).

Dealbreaker

A dealbreaker is a preference marked “Dealbreaker: only introduce people who fit” (for religion and caste, “Must be the same”). It is a firm filter: only people who fit it can be introduced to you, someone who hasn’t answered that question doesn’t pass it, and you can have at most 3.

Why we suggested this

“Why we suggested this” is the two or three plain sentences on each introduction, written by our AI from the answers both people chose to share and the areas where they fit well. A reason that mentions a score or a percentage is thrown away, the AI that writes it receives only the answers you both chose to share, and a person reads it before approving the introduction.