How to use ChatGPT to work out what you want in a partner

Yes, as a thinking partner rather than a judge. An assistant is good at asking follow-up questions, noticing when two of your answers pull in different directions and turning scattered thoughts into a short list you can act on.

Many people already use AI this way. In a 2026 survey of 8,240 urban Indian singles by the Indian dating app Aisle, reported by Global Dating Insights on 9 October 2026, 53.1% of women said they use AI to discuss feelings and relationship concerns, and 64.2% of those surveyed said they trust their own instincts over AI. We think that balance is right: use it to think, and keep the deciding for yourself.

Start a fresh chat used only for this, and check your assistant’s settings before you begin. Look for whether conversations are saved, whether they can be used to improve the assistant, whether it has a memory of past chats, and whether it offers a temporary or private mode. Choose the settings you’re comfortable with, because what you type is handled under that company’s policies, not ours.

Four prompts, used in order in the same chat, do most of the work: an interview, a sort, a challenge and a plain-words summary. Copy each one, then answer honestly and in your own words.

1. Let it interview you.

I want to get clearer on what I want in a long-term partner. Interview me one question at a time. Ask about the life I want in five years, my ordinary weekdays and weekends, how I handle disagreements, what has and hasn’t worked in past relationships, and what I won’t compromise on. Don’t give advice or praise until I say I’m done. Then summarise what I said as plain bullet points, using my own words where you can.

2. Sort what matters.

From my answers, sort what I want into four groups: dealbreakers (things that would end a relationship however good everything else was), important, nice to have, and doesn’t really matter. Keep dealbreakers to three at most. For each dealbreaker, ask me whether I’d really walk away from someone kind and committed over it alone.

3. Ask it to push back.

Now challenge me. Which of my answers contradict each other? Which of my must-haves sound more like preferences? What important topics have I not mentioned? Be direct and don’t flatter me.

4. Put it in plain words.

Write five sentences describing the relationship I want, as I’d say it to a close friend. No clichés and no flattering adjectives.

The sorting step is often the most useful. Our guide to choosing your dealbreakers explains how to tell a dealbreaker from a preference.

Leave out anything that would harm you, or someone else, if it were seen by the wrong person. You can think about these things without typing them:

• Health: physical or mental health, diagnoses, medication or therapy.
• Money: salary, debts, savings, account numbers.
• Identity details: your full name, address, workplace, phone number, and ID numbers such as Aadhaar or PAN.
• Other people’s details: an ex’s name, screenshots of chats, or a friend’s private story. They haven’t agreed to share it.
• Passwords and one-time codes, ever.

Talk in general terms instead. “A past relationship ended because we wanted different things” gives the assistant everything it needs, without naming anyone.

Treat everything it writes as a first draft about you, written by someone who has only heard your side. Global Dating Insights reported on 26 August 2026 that experts caution AI analysis depends heavily on the information the user provides, and that a model can’t reliably account for body language, tone, cultural context or details left out of a prompt. The same article warned of a risk that users with anxious tendencies frame questions in ways that reinforce their existing assumptions.

Some quick checks:

• Is every line something you actually said? Delete anything it guessed or added.
• Is it flattering you? An assistant can be too agreeable. Ask it for the opposite view, and see if that rings true too.
• Would a close friend recognise you? Read the summary to someone who knows you well.
• Does it still feel right next week? Sleep on it, then read it again.
• Is it deciding for you? It can help you think about what you want. It can’t tell you who to be with.

This is the prompt in the app’s “Import from ChatGPT” screen, word for word, as of November 2026:

I'm joining a matchmaking service and want to describe myself accurately. Based on what you know about me from our past conversations, write a short summary of what I'm like in relationships and what I'm looking for in a partner.

Cover only these topics, as plain bullet points:
- what I want from a relationship and how serious I am
- my priorities for the next few years
- how I like to communicate and spend time with someone
- how I handle disagreements
- my routine, interests and social life
- what draws me to someone, and differences I'm fine with

Rules:
- Only include things I've actually told you. If you don't know something, leave it out.
- Don't include anything about my health, religion, caste, sexuality, finances, politics or anyone else's private details.
- Don't include my name, where I live or work, or anyone's contact details.
- Keep it under 300 words.

It works as a self-reflection prompt even if you never join. If your assistant doesn’t remember earlier chats, run the interview prompt above first, then this one in the same conversation.

You copy our prompt into your own assistant, paste back the summary it writes, and our AI turns it into suggested notes you confirm, edit or delete; it adds to your answers and never replaces the questions. MeAndWho Club is an AI-assisted matchmaker opening first in Bengaluru, on Android first, and it isn’t in the app stores yet. Once you’re a member:

1. Copy the prompt. From your profile, open “Import from ChatGPT” and tap “Copy the prompt”. The screen says ChatGPT, but a summary from any assistant is handled the same way.
2. Paste the summary back. Text only, up to 8,000 characters. As the app says: “Text only. Don’t upload or paste your chat history.”
3. Our AI suggests notes. Our AI matchmaker (Claude, made by Anthropic) reads the text and suggests up to 12 notes. For now, this processing happens outside India. The pasted text is never written to our database or logs, and if it doesn’t look like a summary about you, it is discarded.
4. You confirm each one. Suggestions appear under “From your import”, where you can choose “That’s right”, “Not quite, edit”, turn off “Use for matching” or delete them, and “Delete everything from my import” removes them all at once. As the app puts it: “None of them is used until you confirm it. Your pasted text has been deleted.”

What the import doesn’t do: your match score still comes from your own answers, by fixed rules, in both directions, so a summary can’t raise it or set your dealbreakers. Notes you confirm give the person who checks introductions more context about you. See what the AI does and doesn’t do and how we handle your data.

ChatGPT is a product of OpenAI. MeAndWho Club isn’t affiliated with OpenAI: the import is a prompt you run yourself, in whichever assistant you choose, and we never connect to your account there.

• Global Dating Insights: Aisle Survey: 51% of Indian Singles Use AI to Write Dating Messages (9 October 2026), on Aisle’s 2026 report How India Is Using Technology to Navigate Love, accessed 8 November 2026
• Global Dating Insights: AI Usage In Dating Jumps 300%, But Its Limitations Are Important (26 August 2026), accessed 8 November 2026